Hidden Behind an Oak Tree
by Gigabomb
Summary: Kakashi x Iruka. All Kakashi wanted was to visit Obito without being bothered by other people. He knew he should have come back after lunchtime.


Author's Note: I know I've said in the past that I'm not fond of Kakashi/Iruka. For the record, I'm still not. I wrote this story for the community yaoi challenge on LiveJournal for animadri. I decided to take on the request because I decided I couldn't be justified in my KakaIru hate unless I knew where the fans were coming from. After writing this, I concede the pairing has its points, but it is still crack, no matter what the overwhelming opinion says. Also, as I don't read Kakashi/Iruka, I'm pretty sure this fic tosses many of the fanon conventions to the wayside. Hopefully that's a good thing. Beta-ed by proud snapist.

It felt slightly surreal, going to visit Obito in something other than darkness. If Kakashi had had any say in the manner, he would have visited Obito at the regular time and the whole inconvenient change to his daily schedule would have been avoided, but someone at the assignment desk had decided that for some reason, it was a good idea to designate a mission to his team that started at five in the morning. Which would have been fine, under most circumstances, but not when said mission was a D-ranked waste of time that consisted of collecting earthworms for a fishing trip of some daimyo or other's brat son. If Kakashi had been the type to get worked up over things, he would have gotten worked up over it. But he wasn't, and thankfully Naruto saved him the trouble of causing a fuss by doing enough bitching to cover himself, Sasuke, and about half of Sakura's quota, though she had done a fine job of finishing up where Naruto left off.

By the time the earthworm expedition had ended- which was about an hour after it would have had Naruto not accidentally left the bucket out for the birds to get to- Kakashi had used up his patience for the day and sent his passel of brats home early to get some lunch. This time, Sasuke had contributed some to the bitching, but he had been overruled by Naruto when Kakashi had consented to pay for a few bowls at the ramen stand to get them all to go away.

Usually, Kakashi spent most of his morning visiting Obito before ambling off an hour or two late to meet his team, mostly because the majority of people who went to the memorial rock arrived at a somewhat more humane hour in the day, and Kakashi preferred his privacy when talking to the dead. But today he arrived at the memorial rock when the sun was high in the sky, so he wasn't particularly surprised when about three minutes before he came in sight of the rock, he sensed someone was already there. It was to be expected, seeing as it was about the time most people ate lunch, but Kakashi was already regretting not coming around three or so when most people would have returned to their duties.

He actually considered doing this for a few seconds, but he was almost to the rock and didn't really want to come back later, so Kakashi just resigned himself to spending less time with Obito than usual (while Obito didn't particularly mind him standing around for hours not saying anything, a living person might find it kind of weird, and Kakashi wasn't willing to deal with someone else's dead people issues) and kept on walking.

It was about thirty seconds before he came in sight of the rock that Kakashi was able to figure out who the unwanted assailant on his privacy was. He would have determined the man's identity sooner, but he had only learned Umino Iruka's name two months ago and seen him only sporadically (every three years or so when they passed by each other when grocery shopping or whatever in the village) before then. Kakashi wasn't all that interested in the lives of Konoha's numerous chuunin, so when Iruka had spoken against Kakashi's decision to put Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura in the chuunin exams, Kakashi had thought the man's intentions noble, if a little misguided and naïve, and promptly forgotten about him.

Kakashi wasn't particularly surprised to find the academy teacher at the memorial rock, or to encounter him again at all, when you got right down to it. The guy had probably lost a friend and/or relative or two himself (most shinobi had if they made it past twenty), and was probably just visiting at the most convenient time for him when his pack of even-more-numerous-and-annoying-in-their-childishness-than-Kakashi's brats went home to eat with their families. And Konoha was big, but not that big. You tended to run into everyone at least two or three times before they died or you did. So even if Kakashi had believed in serendipity, which he didn't, he wouldn't have regarded a second meeting with Umino Iruka as anything previously ordained by Fate. Just ordained by the messing-with-a-certain-jounin-instructor's-schedule-so-he-couldn't-visit-a-certain-dead-teammate-without-other-people-bothering-him kind of gods. Who thankfully didn't show up too often, but they were still irritating when they decided he didn't have enough annoyances to deal with over the course of his day.

It was about seven seconds before he came in sight of the rock that Kakashi starting making out what the chuunin was saying. It was about three seconds before he came in sight of the rock that Kakashi heard the academy teacher very distinctly say the name 'Obito.' It was two point eight seconds before he came in sight of the rock that Kakashi stopped dead where he stood and tried to figure out what the hell was going on.

He was pretty damn sure that Umino Iruka hadn't known Uchiha Obito. For one thing, Iruka was at least four years younger than Obito would be if he was still alive, and it was unlikely they would have associated at the academy, as the elder kids rarely talked to the younger ones if they could help it. For another, Uchiha Obito had died at thirteen, when Iruka still would have been at the academy, so they couldn't have met on the field. All of this made sense to Kakashi, so it didn't make sense why the academy teacher would be talking to Obito right now. Out loud, at that.

Kakashi really hadn't wanted to do anything else today that required actual effort (not that collecting earthworms had really needed much exertion, but tolerating Sasuke and Naruto's bickering sure had forced him to call upon the thirteen years of patience he had acquired in his time as a jounin, which definitely had involved effort considering Kakashi hadn't eaten breakfast yet and had already become a little irritable by then), like, say, sneaking up on a chuunin who was probably a little rusty from a few years teaching instead of taking real missions, but unlikely not to notice a silver-haired jounin at his back. But this wasn't just a job. This was personal.

There were a variety of reasons this was personal, the number one being that everyone else who had known Obito to any degree were dead. Sensei, family, and one brown-haired, smiling teammate who had started fading at age fourteen and kept on doing it until she eventually disappeared completely. So Kakashi was all that was left. That anyone felt they had the right to talk to Obito when they didn't even know him kind of pissed Kakashi off.

It took him about ten seconds after he first heard Obito's name for Kakashi to decide on a good vantage point from which to watch Umino Iruka. It wasn't the greatest hiding spot in the world, but the huge oak tree that had been there for as long as anyone could remember was the only tree in the immediate vicinity that was big enough for Kakashi to completely hide behind without standing sideways. Then he pulled up his hitai-ate headband, something he only normally did on extremely dangerous missions (personal was _personal_, after all, and so things were personal in Kakashi's life that the few things that were automatically elevated themselves to the levels that made use of the Sharingan perfectly reasonable), and squinted through the tree's chakra patterns to try and get some idea of what Umino Iruka was doing.

He wasn't doing much. Nothing that justified jumping out from behind the oak tree and killing him for dishonoring Obito's memory, at any rate. Just standing there, about three feet from where Kakashi himself usually stood when he visited the memorial rock, and talking. Well, if Kakashi was being completely accurate, it was more like trying to talk, with a good dose of uncomfortable pauses thrown in.

"Obito-san… I know I really shouldn't be talking to you like this, when I never really knew you…" Damn right he shouldn't be talking to Obito. Kakashi couldn't help but glean some savage satisfaction out of the chuunin's discomfort, but despite Iruka's obvious uneasiness, he kept on speaking. "But you see… I don't really have anyone else to talk to." Shit. How few friends did Iruka have that he was turning to a dead guy for advice? Even Kakashi usually sought out someone who was still breathing when he needed a second opinion about something.

"It's about Kakashi-sensei. Well, I guess you just know him as Kakashi, seeing as he wasn't a jounin instructor when you two were teammates." For a moment, Kakashi could only stare at the tree (it was really through the tree, but anyone who was watching that was unaware of the Sharingan would probably get the two confused) in bewilderment. Not that it was helping much. Reading lips with the Sharingan activated was a bit of a bitch, especially with the tree's chakra getting in the way. About him? What the hell would Umino Iruka have to say about him? They hadn't said two words to each other in two months, and about ten words total before then. The chuunin didn't know him well enough to really even have much of an opinion about him, much less be familiar enough that it made any sense for Iruka to be talking to a boy that had been dead thirteen years.

"Naruto talks about him a lot…" Well, that at least explained how Iruka knew anything about him at all. Naruto had a big mouth, and apparently he and Iruka had been close once upon a time, or at least that was what Kakashi got from the few times the blond genin had mentioned his former teacher.

"Kakashi isn't as harsh as I thought he was when he nominated Naruto for the exams, especially since he turned out to be right about Naruto after all. But still… some of the things Naruto says about him worry me." Kakashi made a mental note to make Naruto run extra laps the next time they had a training session, partly for revenge purposes, but mostly to drill it into the stubborn kid that sometimes it was a good idea to keep his mouth shut. Like when tempted to blab about his jounin instructor's eccentricities to a chuunin who had displayed overprotective tendencies in the past and probably thought the least exposure to anything adult (i.e. any missions above C-rank and porn) would scar his one-time students for life.

"Some of it is harmless. I don't really care that he reads pornography as long as he doesn't allow Naruto to get a hold of it, but some of it… apparently he shows up late everyday because he's visiting… well… you. Though you probably already know that, seeing as it's with you that he spends every morning. I'm not sure that signifies a very healthy mind, that Kakashi spends most of his time with the dead." How the hell did Naruto know where he went in the mornings? The kids maybe didn't buy his usual repertoire of excuses, but he hadn't thought any of them were savvy enough to track him down one day to figure out what he was doing while he kept them waiting. Kakashi made another mental note to compliment them on their espionage skills before dragging them out in the woods for three days of survival training. Without food. Just because he was proud of them didn't mean he was above using his authority for less than altruistic purposes. He had to get his kicks somewhere.

"I'm not sure Naruto needs someone like that in his life right now. He's a good kid, but he didn't have very many people to look up to when he was younger. Now that he has an accomplished jounin mentoring him, I'm afraid Naruto may get the wrong ideas about what is acceptable and start emulating Kakashi." Behind the oak tree, Kakashi's eyes narrowed. Now Iruka was just getting insulting. Kakashi knew he wasn't what you would call a wholesome influence, but the academy teacher made him sound like the next Orochimaru or something. At this rate he was going to turn Obito against him, and then Kakashi would feel disapproval radiating from the memorial rock for _weeks_… huh. Maybe he was spending a little too much time with Obito if he was beginning to sense his former teammate's moods from beyond the grave.

"Not that I mean to insult Kakashi. I know you two were close." Actually, he and Obito hadn't been all that buddy-buddy when Obito was alive (more like sworn enemies that happened to be on the same team), but Kakashi could understand how that misperception could arise. He did have Obito's left eye after all, and most Uchihas wouldn't give up their Sharingan for just anyone.

"Kakashi is a great teacher. He helped Naruto reach a great deal of his potential, and Naruto is just growing more and more skilled under Kakashi's tutelage, even if Kakashi does allot most of his time to training Sasuke." He did _not_. You take off one month from two of your brats to teach the third and people start getting the wrong idea. He spent plenty of time training Naruto and Sakura. Sasuke just had more issues that he needed help with, was all.

"I know that if Kakashi continues to teach him, Naruto will be a great shinobi one day. I'm just not sure that he will turn out to be a well-adjusted one. Maybe if Kakashi just set a better example when he wasn't training his students or on missions, I would feel a little better about all this. Show his students that you can have a normal life as well as be a successful ninja. You know, like going to the movies…" He went to movies. He went to movies all the time. Just last week he had gone to the _Icha Icha Paradise _premier. "Or dating…" … okay. Iruka may have him there. Kakashi couldn't actually recall the last time he had gone on a date, so that probably meant it was never.

Still, if Iruka was talking to Obito about dating, it just drove it home how little the chuunin knew about the deceased Uchiha. Obito hadn't even been able to get up the courage to admit to his crush on Rin. At least Kakashi wasn't in self-denial about his own lack of social skills. Asking Obito about dating was like asking Gai about discretion. A really fucking bad idea, and likely to get you into a whole mess of trouble if you were stupid enough to follow their advice. Especially Obito's, considering Obito was dead, and therefore any advice you heard was likely to be a product of your own insanity induced hallucinations. Gai, at least, was just loud and unsubtle, not pushing up daisies in a hole near Stone Country.

"I never see Kakashi with anyone around the village except for some of the other jounin instructors. It makes me wonder if he has any life at all outside his work as a shinobi." Somehow, Kakashi doubted bringing up his rivalry with Gai as a pastime would count as a hobby that was outside his usual job, if only because most of Gai's challenges consisted of the occasional game of rock-paper-scissors (if it was Kakashi's turn to choose the challenge) or them hitting each other until one of them was unconscious. Well, that or eating contests, but after the first time they had made a mutual pact to exclude that from the possible list of challenges. Duel food poisoning had not been fun to deal with.

"Maybe if he saw other people once in a while… but I suppose he's just insecure. Unconfident in himself outside his prowess as a jounin." This was just getting ridiculous. The academy teacher had met him once and now he was psychoanalyzing him? And he was _not_ unconfident outside of battle. He was plenty confident. He just didn't care enough to show it off. "It makes sense, I suppose… he was thrust into the war so young." God, you make one off-hand comment about the age at which you reached chuunin and people start talking about childhood trauma. His father's death had messed him up _way_ more than becoming a chuunin at six.

"Or perhaps he is just impotent. That would explain a lot." Kakashi choked.

It would be inaccurate to say that at that moment Kakashi couldn't stop himself from leaping out behind the tree and confronting Iruka about his absurd assumptions. For one thing, he didn't leap out, just stepped out from behind the oak tree and strolled over to stand behind the chuunin with the intent to wait until the other shinobi noticed him. For another, Kakashi could have easily stopped himself if, for example, his silence had been essential to the success of a mission, or necessary to save a comrade. But he wasn't on a mission, and as far as he knew, his genin cell was still at the ramen stand eating lunch. There was exactly nothing stopping Kakashi from revealing his presence and, consequently, telling the presumptuous idiot exactly what he thought of the chuunin questioning whether he could get it up in front of a shinobi who had been killed before Iruka had made genin.

Nothing stopping him, that is, except the smug grin Iruka shot his way the moment he stepped out from behind the old oak tree. Like he had been aware of Kakashi all along and had just been waiting for him to show himself. So Kakashi's rant was killed before it had a chance to gain proper momentum, and for a moment, all they did was stare at each other.

As it happened, Iruka spoke first. "Hello, Kakashi-sensei."

There wasn't much Kakashi could say to that, except, "Yo, Iruka-sensei."

Then there was silence again. Iruka was still grinning. So, Kakashi tried again. "How long did you know I was there?"

"Ever since I started talking about my worries of Naruto imitating your bad habits." A pause, and then by way of explanation: "Your chakra signature flickered."

Oh. Well then. That made some sense, Kakashi supposed. It wasn't like he had put that much effort into suppressing his chakra. He wasn't used to doing so when off duty and had probably slacked a bit more than he should have. Still, it did make him feel a bit incompetent. "So all that stuff you said about me being a great teacher… that was just for a show?" Kakashi admitted (though only to himself) to being a little hurt. The compliments had actually been a decent boost to his ego, especially considering Team Seven was his first batch of brats and he still had no idea what he was doing.

However, Iruka shook his head. "No. I do think you are a great teacher for Naruto, Kakashi-sensei." A small smile, though this one contained no trace of smugness. "Even if you do read too much porn."

There was only one more question that Kakashi really wanted to ask. Even if it was kind of embarrassing. "What about that crap about me being impotent?"

"I had to say something to get you to come out. I was running out of material."

Well, that made sense. And now Kakashi didn't really have much else to say. If he had been anyone else, he might have felt a little uncomfortable, but by now he was used to shrugging off the little inconveniences in life. "I guess you just needed to rant about me for a few minutes."

Iruka nodded. Feeling that that was the end of their conversation, Kakashi turned to leave, but the chuunin's voice stopped him. "I must admit, Kakashi-sensei… I do wonder a bit about the impotence thing."

Kakashi turned and stared. Iruka was grinning again, though this one was more mischievous than smug. And maybe… if Kakashi wasn't reading his social cues completely wrong… a little… flirtatious? Kakashi tried to remember the last time someone had flirted with him. The answer he came up with was: about the same time he had last gone on a date.

Kakashi frantically tried to remember the protocol for such a situation, but all he could bring to mind is his former sensei's smiling face, telling him to do what felt natural. Unfortunately, what felt natural was turning tail and running, but for some reason this didn't seem completely right. So Kakashi tried something else. Like responding. "Oh really?"

Iruka nodded again. "Really. Not that I need to find out immediately, Kakashi-sensei… I'm very patient. But still…" And now the academy instructor blushed, almost invisibly against his tanned skin. Why now he would start to get embarrassed was somewhat beyond Kakashi. You'd think the sexual commentary would have done it if anything would. "I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner with me sometime?" Though the blush still tinged his cheeks, the mischievous grin again played across Iruka's lips. "Maybe if I get to know you a little better, I'll find out how wrong I was about you being a bad influence on Naruto."

Dinner? With someone else? Stalling for time, Kakashi looked the chuunin over. What he got was someone who was a few inches smaller than himself, though by no means short. Someone who tied his hair back in a horsetail and with a long scar across his nose. Someone who had heard the worst about him from someone with first-hand (though admittedly very biased) experience, and still decided that asking him out for dinner was a good idea. The final conclusion that Kakashi reached was that either Umino Iruka was totally insane, or the bravado he had displayed when confronting Kakashi about the chuunin exams two months ago wasn't completely for show, and that the man actually had some guts to back it up.

It still seemed like a terrible idea. A voice that sounded an awful lot like his thirteen year old self told him that this had to be a trap, that people did not ask him out on dates, and this Iruka could only be asking him because he wanted something from him. But another voice, a stronger voice, one that sounded an awful lot like Obito's, murmured in his ear, _now when do you think you'll come across someone like this again? Say yes or you'll regret it forever, you tightass._ And for only the second time in his life, Kakashi decided that Uchiha Obito was right. Not that it was a hard decision to make. Never let it be said that he at thirteen had been even remotely worth listening to when it came to the intentions of other people.

"Sounds good. Saturday at six good for you?"

Iruka smiled. Iruka, Kakashi noticed, had a very sincere, open smile. One he could definitely get used to. "It is. We can meet at the base of the Hokage's tower. I know of a good restaurant near there." He gave a small wave. "I'll leave you to talk with Obito-san. I've interrupted enough of your time. See you Saturday."

Then Iruka left, leaving Kakashi alone. Well, alone with Obito, who for some reason chose then to start laughing.

Kakashi tolerated it. For all of five seconds. "Oh, just shut up, you loser. I still got a date before you did." Obito grudgingly conceded that he had a point.


End file.
